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~nicoleg2003:iconnicoleg2003:

is lost in her head again.  
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**You Have Been Warned**

Journal Entry: Sun Jul 27, 2008, 1:58 AM
  • Mood: Contempt
  • Listening to: Ripple - Grateful Dead
  • Reading: Tigerheart by Peter David
  • Watching: Mis gatos
  • Drinking: Agua
So, it's about 1:30am. I'm tired, sunburnt, and a might annoyed at myself. I have $15 in my wallet when yesterday I had almost a full paycheck in there. Yes, life expenses did indeed leech a great portion of it. But for some reason, I'm just pissed off with the direction my life is going.
I'm terrified that my hunch about my dear 'Ryn's situation will be right. And seeing her go through what I did two years ago...I couldn't bear it. I just wish I could do something to help.
Seems to be a theme right now, I see those I hold dear in bad or self-sabotaging situations and all I can do is blink sadly at them and hope they won't yell at me when I work up the guts to tell them I think they're fucking up. I can think of three people straight off the top of my head I just want to slap in the face with jiggly green jello.
It makes me feel...Useless.
I'm constantly reminded that I sleep curled around my pillow teddybear boyfriend named Stewie because I seem to sabotage anything that looks remotely like a romantic entanglement. I guess watching my high school friends get married and have families is what's scaring me. I'm 23, I'm all for romance, but the idea of being bound to one person for the rest of my natural born existence is...Well, daunting.
But loneliness sucks. I'm really glad I have friends I can lean on until this disturbing self-pity phase passes. Love you Eryn and Cyphen.

Devious Information

  • Current Age: 23
  • Current Residence: In a galaxy far away made of cheese, mmm.
  • deviantWEAR sizing preference: Small yo.
  • Interests: Writing, Drawing, Making it through college, Finding out who the hell I really am.
  • Favourite movie: Any Jim Carry/ Adam Sandler movies. Vampire movies kick ass too. And go go campy horror
  • Favourite band or musician: LP, Greenday,Evanescence, AFI, Perfect Circle, Poe, The Cure, Weezer, Depeche Mode
  • Favourite genre of music: Rock/ Punk/80's
  • Favourite artist: My Grandfather, Jutone, Bara-Chan, Feris, Purple Angelica and so many other I can't name them a
  • Favourite poet or writer: Poet: Edgar Alan Poe Writers: Anne Rice, Poppy Z. Brite, J.K. Rowling
  • Favourite photographer: GraphicsLizard
  • Favourite style of art: Anime
  • Operating System: my brain
  • MP3 player of choice: Windows Media Player/Realplayer
  • Shell of choice: Abologna of abolonie, how do you spell it darnit?
  • Wallpaper of choice: The ones I make myself
  • Skin of choice: my own
  • Favourite game: Majora's Mask
  • Favourite gaming platform: Nintendo 64
  • Favourite cartoon character: Strongbad, Inuyasha, Bart Simpson, Daria, Stewie.
  • Personal Quote: If you can't fit the mold, break it.
  • Tools of the Trade: colored pencils, paper, pens, my computer, a little imagination

deviantART Notice

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Devious Comments

~poetzhaven:iconpoetzhaven: May 28, 2008, 2:37:31 PM
Hi there! I see you kept commenting on poetzhaven... well here I am... I plan on being here for a while. I'm jobless and almost done with school, what else do I have to do? Hehe.

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Admin: ~devilishly-cruel
~GraphicsLizard:iconGraphicsLizard: Mar 26, 2008, 10:19:09 PM
Yo yo yo what it is homie. Liking your shizzle fo sho. Check out [link] though most of it is audio a lot of authors have released thier full novels in PDF form so it's not just audio books anymore. Seth Harwood, Scott Sigler, and Phil Rossi are all highly recomended. See you tomorrow!

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~Semper Fudge!~
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~iBeLaughing:iconiBeLaughing: Mar 7, 2008, 10:02:07 PMComment hidden by Owner
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!jessicamadison:iconjessicamadison: Mar 1, 2008, 5:14:47 AMComment hidden by Owner
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~vixenvaldoon:iconvixenvaldoon: Dec 9, 2007, 12:27:31 AM Mood: Love
Well, you know me, I'm BOUNTY!
~Chickadeekin:iconChickadeekin: Nov 7, 2007, 8:24:01 PM
Hey Big Sis, thanks kindly for the fav :blushes: Sorry I missed you when you were online! :0

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~Birds are able to fly because they so greatly admire heaven.~

Avatar made by ~cilla-chan; thanks so much, Cilla! I love it! :heart:
~Chickadeekin:iconChickadeekin: Oct 28, 2007, 3:43:54 PM
i'ma gonna name you SQUISHY!

isn't that right squishy; squishy squishy squishy.

(bad attempt at dory is bad.)

Hope you get intarwebs back soooonz. I need my little Sacrafice : D

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~Birds are able to fly because they so greatly admire heaven.~

Avatar made by ~cilla-chan; thanks so much, Cilla! I love it! :heart:
~Chickadeekin:iconChickadeekin: Aug 31, 2007, 9:35:47 AM
Know what would be reallu fun?

(dancing naked on your page!)

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~Birds are able to fly because they so greatly admire heaven.~

Avatar made by ~cilla-chan; thanks so much, Cilla! I love it! :heart:
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*MoonlitNight13:iconMoonlitNight13: Jun 15, 2007, 5:14:02 PMComment hidden by Owner
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~elisafox-stock:iconelisafox-stock: Jun 18, 2006, 11:11:38 PM
Thanks a lot for faving my wings [link]
:floating:

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.:my stock account:. [link] :bulletpurple: :camera: :bulletpurple:
:blackrose: .:my art gallery:. :blackrose: [link] :gallery:
*Faux-Fatale:iconFaux-Fatale: Jun 10, 2006, 12:23:17 AM
Thanks so much for the :+fav:

Faux

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We ride with kings on mighty steeds
across the Devil's plain...
~wrathstock:iconwrathstock: May 24, 2006, 4:25:17 PM
Allo'z Long time no see! Hope all iz well with you & great stuff as always :D
~photoshoptutors:iconphotoshoptutors: May 5, 2006, 5:24:05 AM
thanks for the :+fav:

jaako

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~photoshoptutors deviantArt's #1 tutorials club™ | :relax:
~Ingwaz:iconIngwaz: Apr 12, 2006, 9:56:39 AM
Nikkisama, neesan, I wrote you an email but I didn't know where to send it to, so I sent it to the one you have on your DA page when I click "email". I can never remember if you check that one, or the Yahoo! one.

Please please please read it. I'm thoughrly freaked out. PENIS D: LOL. Uhh..yes.

Don't quite know what else to say :crazy:

See you round hon,

Luff!

Kat.
~Ashley-Himura:iconAshley-Himura: Mar 25, 2006, 9:13:50 PM
thank you very much for the fav!^_^ :D

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~Sexy-Men ~Vanilla-Gackt ~Smexy-Myv-Club
:hump: ^_^ ;P <3

This space would be better utilized by replacing this generic text with a signature full of substance.
~ScWeeGee-Boy:iconScWeeGee-Boy: Feb 13, 2006, 1:35:32 PM
hey thanks a lot for the :+fav: on Evanescence

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"You've searched for me to find me, and now that you have come to know me, you've found something within me, a mind beyond imagination, thoughts beyond the grave, eyes that see though blind, a mind reaching out through time."
~nicoleg2003:iconnicoleg2003: Jan 8, 2006, 3:43:13 PM
:nod:

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Everything can be made better by Eddie Izzard's soprano impression.
~Delica:iconDelica: Jan 8, 2006, 1:43:02 PM
Your power went out? Guess its a good time for candles and fireworks.:)

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3 Can keep a secret if 2 are Dead.
~nicoleg2003:iconnicoleg2003: Jan 8, 2006, 11:29:31 AM
HEY!! *tacklehugglomp* Was ok I guess, once we got power back.

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Everything can be made better by Eddie Izzard's soprano impression.
~Delica:iconDelica: Jan 8, 2006, 12:42:17 AM
*waves* Hey you...its been awhile:) How was your new year?

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3 Can keep a secret if 2 are Dead.
~valridlle:iconvalridlle: Nov 30, 2005, 3:42:28 AM
Thanks for the favorite! ^__^

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"I believe that the best psychiatrist is the sheet of paper with a pencil"- Adrian Hates
~suski-demon-girl:iconsuski-demon-girl: Nov 26, 2005, 12:39:46 AM
Whats your dirty little secret?

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I sell shoes designed to your prefeernce just Note me for more info